You wake up, you login to your laptop- attend the daily meetings, make Tea, have lunch, watch youtube, have dinner and sleep.

A daily routine- that seems normal and that is what everyone does. Weekdays are for work, Weekends are for house cleaning and getting things ready for the next week. Life goes on and you don’t realise how soon the 2020 ends, 2021 ends, 2022 ends … life ends.

We often live in this lifecycle and don’t think much beyond that. It is not that I am different, I am still very much part of this circus and keep working and remain a part of the human race that believes the sole purpose of we being here is to earn money, keep working and hope that we will be able to stay alive until we retire when we will calculate all the savings we have from our earnings, a house to live for and then spend our days waiting for the natural way to leave this body or what God has in store for us.

But then, is it fair? Is this what we are here for? Do we really really deserve this? I keep thinking back of the reasons why I kept holding my mum back to visit Switzerland, Kashmir, USA to meet her relatives or simple things like an Arijit Singh Live Concert which she really really loved and wanted to attend. Reason: Oh Mum, we have time- You’re not going anywhere.

Switzerland and Italy is where we went last week. And it was a truly much needed break from the daily cycle. So much that I really felt travelling once again this week just to meet my extended family who are there touring the beautiful place. Life is short, which we all have realised and I feel it is necessary to avoid thinking much about how much it costs or how crazy you are comments.

If you feel like doing it, just do it.

Because there is no tomorrow- we all have realised that the hard way.

Speechless – but still hanging around.

Its very rare that I have nothing to say – when your mind goes completely blank and there is absolutely nothing you want to write yet I scribble things here because I realise I haven’t been here for a while 🙂 and pouring your heart out is needed to keep you sane.

2020 has been a very sad year for all of us. I wanted to visit here and pour my heart out when my mumma left us in June, but everything happened so surprisingly that there is “still” absolutely nothing to express. Tears roll down the eyes even today but it does not express the pain that the heart feels. Why? I guess not, because life is and never will be the same anymore. And it is extremely hard to explain what I am going through.

I am sure once I get my senses right ( may be some day ) I will have a lot to say about the day I spoke to my mum last and the day she passed away. I do not have the strength to look back at that day .. yet. You can console the entire world for the pain, you can help every single individual in this world and bring them out of their sorrows but how do you get stronger yourself when you have had one of the scariest years of your life.

Just looking forward to meet my loved ones when everything is safe to travel and spend some time with them to go through what has happened.

I will be back.

Love,
Dika, as my mum called me.

I haven’t been regular at my blogs lately — In fact, regular is an overstatement – Its been many many years I haven’t written much. But I guess it’s never too late to start again. Isn’t it? My recent trip to India made me realise a lot of things. Life is too short, you need to make the most out of every little moment you are here.

I truly believe that if you are happy, if you are content within your inner-self, you can bring out the best in the people around you. Smile is contagious and so are tears… even a tiniest tear can bring sadness to your loved ones – so it is very important to stay happy and share that happiness with everyone around. Life is short – You can never predict whats going to happen the next moment. You will never come out of it alive so why waste your time fearing and living in darkness. Spread your wings and fly. Make yourself free and enjoy each day as there is no tomorrow.

I am not sure if I can continue this feeling forever – but I can try, all we need a step forward towards staying positive and life will be beautiful.

Life is beautiful. And if you think it is not — step out and make it one.

Love Always.

Mayur

11th October — Its been 6 years since I have lost myself… my dad. my friend. my institution.

Life has been good to me. I moved to London in 2010 – completing one of his biggest dreams of travelling to London some day, which he never did. But every single day, every single moment I still feel somewhere he is looking up to me and watch me living his dream. Every single step I take, every decision I make – Its with him in my mind, whether he would think the same? whether he would take that path? whether he would be proud of me?

I’ve never said enough, how much i adored him. Even when he was here. Which is one of the regrets and pains I may have to carry on. He has always been there for me, even when I was not. He has always believed in me, when I did not. I remember my school trip back from Nepal returning back to CST Station and calling from a local phone, crying and scared — how I lost my luggage back in Nepal and how it had all the gifts and many valuables. How he calmed me down and took me in my arms and said its OK. I know it was never OK for him, as he had to earn more to buy again. There are numerous such occasions where I have make mistakes and he has always forgiven me, with a smile.

I remember he loved to sing and listen to Mukesh, one of his favourite singers. And Raj Kapoor one of his favourite actors. He loved several of his songs. One of which we had always played several times on a recorded video tape and is so apt for emotions which are pouring out today.

Ek din bik jayega mati ke mol, Jag me rah jayege pyare tere bol
Duje ke hotho ko dekar apne geet, Koi nishani chhod phir duniya se dol
Ek din bik jayega mati ke molm Jag me rah jayege pyare tere bol

Anhoni path me kante lakh bichhaye, Honi to phir bhi bichhada yaar milaye
Ye biraha ye duri do pal ki majburi,  Phir koi dilwala kahe ko ghabaraye
Dhara jo bahati hai, Milke rehti hai, Behti dhara ban ja phir duniya se dol
Ek din bik jayega mati ke mol, Jag me rah jayege pyare tere bol

Love to Dad. Miss You. Always.

Back in the days where Tom and Jerry and Flinstones were considered as epic cartoons – I remember we used to wait for days to get our hands on the new editons of Indian Cartoon Magazines – Tinkle, Amar Chitra Katha, Chandamama, etc.

Chacha Chaudhary and Sabu

And one of the best superhero’s we used to adore was Chacha Chaudhary’s Sabu. I remember my school days where I was so excited reading the comic books and how the stories unfolded step by step. We have forgotten those days where characters came out of those pages and became part of our dreams and imaginations.

Today, after almost 2 decades, the death of the founder of Chacha Chaudhary – the Cartoonist Pran – reminded me of those amazing days when we loved reading his works.

I never thought those days would go away. I still remember the newspaper wallah would drop the new edition of Tinkle or these magazines every 2 weeks and we would wait for hours looking at the door for the arrival. And As soon as we get it – there starts the fight between the brothers and sisters as to who will read it first.

I would finish reading the whole book within hours on the same day and then wait for weeks again to get the new one. Sending posts with contest forms and quizzes and feedbacks to the cartoonists was so much fun. Life is so simple now a days where you can easily e-mail the feedback.

Sometimes I miss those days terribly – I wish we could roll back time and get our childhoods back. #sigh!

Just remembered one of the poems by Shri Harivansh Rai Bachchan which I had learnt during my school days.

कोशिश करने वालों की (Koshish Karne Walo Ki)
– हरिवंशराय बच्चन (Harivansh Rai Bachchan)

लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती, (Lehron se dar kar nauka paar nahi hoti)
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। (Koshish karne waalo ki kabhi haar nahi hoti)

नन्हीं चींटी जब दाना लेकर चलती है, (Nanhi cheeti jab daana lekar chalti hai)
चढ़ती दीवारों पर, सौ बार फिसलती है। (Chadhti deewaro par, sau baar fisalti hai)
मन का विश्वास रगों में साहस भरता है, (Mann ka vishwas rangon mein saahas bharta hai)
चढ़कर गिरना, गिरकर चढ़ना न अखरता है। (Chadhkar girna, girkar chadhna na akharta hai)
आख़िर उसकी मेहनत बेकार नहीं होती,  (Akhir uski mehnat bekaar nahi hoti(
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। (Koshish karne waalo ki kabhi haar nahi hoti)

डुबकियां सिंधु में गोताखोर लगाता है, (Dupkiyaan sindhu mein gotakhor lagata hai)
जा जा कर खाली हाथ लौटकर आता है। (Jaa Jaa kar khaali haath lautkar aata hai)
मिलते नहीं सहज ही मोती गहरे पानी में, (Milte nahi sahaj hi moti gehre paani mein)
बढ़ता दुगना उत्साह इसी हैरानी में। (Badhta dugana utsaah issi hairaani mein)
मुट्ठी उसकी खाली हर बार नहीं होती, (Mutthi uski khaali har baar nahi hoti)
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। (Koshish karne waalo ki kabhi haar nahi hoti)

असफलता एक चुनौती है, इसे स्वीकार करो, (Asafalta ek chunauti hai, isse sweekar karo)
क्या कमी रह गई, देखो और सुधार करो। (Kya kami reh gayi, dekho aur sudhaar karo)
जब तक न सफल हो, नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम, (Jab tak na safal ho, neend chain ko tyaago tum)
संघर्ष का मैदान छोड़ कर मत भागो तुम। (Sangharsh ka maidan chod kar mat bhaago tum)
कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती, (Kuch kiye bina hi jay jay kaar nahi hoti)
कोशिश करने वालों की कभी हार नहीं होती। (Koshish karne waalo ki kabhi haar nahi hoti)